Funky Dunkin!

This is a variation on a previous post.

One of the things they stressed in nursing school was the importance of good hygiene in the prevention of the spread of germs. Our instructors, after lining us up behind sinks, would watch us soap our fingers and wash them in very specific and clinically effective ways.

If we took short cuts or failed to meticulously scrub each finger to their liking, we’d be sent to the back of the line to do it over or worse: drummed out of the corps.

It’s no secret that nursing instructors are a harsh lot, but their strict standards were not formulated for the purpose of stripping us of our last shreds of dignity, rather the point they were making, and reinforcing and pounding into our otherwise empty heads was: germs are everywhere, often on our filthy hands and ready to spread if we were not hyper-vigilant.

Now that I work nights, I have gotten into the habit of stopping at “Crusty Crullers,” an ubiquitous pastry/coffee chain, for a mammoth coffee on my way into the office. Working while the rest of the world sleeps requires copious amounts of self-discipline and buckets of caffeinated beverages. In spite of the fact that I have discovered that sleep deprivation soundly trumps caffeine, the habit is entrenched. I like coffee: it is warm and soothing (unless it is iced coffee and then it is cool and soothing) and I like the size of the containers available at Crusty Crullers, even if the coffee itself is kind of lousy.

The pink and orange logo is familiar, and the staff seems to spend a whole lot of time training the new people to polish the fixtures and mop the floor. Obviously, there is a corporate policy regarding cleanliness that is strictly enforced, depending on the franchise. At 6:15 p.m., which is my regular arrival time, the employees are invariably hard at work, tending to the overall clutter-free ambience that is typical of Crusty Crullers: cleaning, sweeping and polishing.
In the interest of full disclosure, I must admit, I’ll have a donut now and then., Prior to recent heavy marketing campaigns pushing their coffee, Crusty Crullers got its start as a purveyor of donuts. In my youth, each branch of this concern had a bakery in the back, rolling out dough and dropping it into roiling vats of hot fat. Nowadays centralized kitchens, serviced by delivery trucks keep the racks donuts, bagels muffins and cookies full.

Anatomy buffs know that the skin is the largest organ in the body. It is a remarkable organ at that, among other things, keeps our insides on the insides. Our skin also serves as a shield, the first line of defense against malevolent microbes that are as ubiquitous as the ubiquitous pastry/coffee chain that has been mentioned repeatedly in this article.
To that end and armed with that knowledge, you see a lot more safety precautions in your day-to-day life. From the dental hygienist to the auto mechanic everyone is wearing gloves. And at Crusty Crullers there are systems in place to ensure that the pleasant baseball-capped food handlers are following what can only be company policy when it comes to food/hand contact and precautionary hygiene.

Like so many other places I go to get food that will kill me in other ways, the person behind the counter has the good habit of donning a fresh pair of disposable gloves prior to preparing whatever cheese laden porcine taste orgy I order. Before touching my filthy money, the gloves are removed, the cash register is operated and fresh gloves are put on prior to serving the next customer in line.

When a donut is ordered at Crusty Crullers, the employee grabs a clean paper bag and pops it open with a flick of the wrist. Then to ensure a barrier between their hands and the pastry (even though they are mandated by signs in two languages to wash their hands after using the facilities), a hermetically folded waxed paper square is employed to pick up the requested pastry / donut which is then deftly dropped in the bag.

As a health care professional, this procedure works for me. I am sure that scientists with Petri dishes could demonstrate that either it makes no difference or it does the job. I believe the best defense against these bugs is routine exposure and the natural development of antibodies. But with a whole new generation of super scary mutations popping up hither and thither, I appreciate the gesture on the part of Crusty Crullers. Tongs are another way of handling it but who knows if the tongs have recently been through a dishwasher?

So, after going to the trouble of carefully using the wax paper to safely move my donut from the rack to the bag, please don’t throw the waxed paper square into the bag. It ruins the effect.

And it makes me sick!